Fay Chao's Journal of Distruction

I told you I know how most ppl think though my mind doesn't work that way still..
(u read the other 1s yet?)

Yes, I like your style; its dark yet deep with a hint of i dont give a crap. Its really good.

Thanx

Your wecome

Perfect
It's a lie! A word that should never have existed! Everything that exists someone will expect you to be! You're good or you're bad, Heaven or Hell. NO in between at least that's what they say. But NO ONE BEING is perfect! Whether you perfectly good or pefectly evil NO SUCH THING exists but it seems no matter how many times you tell them they still expect you to be it! Rage builds from not being able to meet the standards that no one can, then all is lost all morals all self control everything. Nothing remains even sanity flees as a defense against the overload of pressure. Break! Unafraid, uncaring, just completely immune to everything judgement, punishment pain guilt nothing effects you. When the rush it overif any feeling returns it is guilt or hatred, maybe both. One may admit they are terrible
and that they have done wrong but they will not change thier ways for they cannot. They may even say they believe in their damnation, they may fear it or accept it. Another may not care either way they are alive for the moment and that's all that matters there's no contemplating their path they will not bemoved! Do not judge or pity them, they each have their reasons. If you're one to care you should know it is a sin to judge so they say. If you wish to help those who have fallen upon this path maybe your kindness and friendship is enough even if they deny you, but maybe they will accept no one it's up to you to take the risk.

Spoiler:

Wow! That was interesting. It's been such a long time since you posted here. ^.^

Yea ive added pics to the first 2
im gonna keep adding pics to match to words

Oh! I will have to go check them out then. ^.^

Wow that seems like a really deep poem its good

I really like the pictures you added to the other ones. ^.^

Thanks I was kinda wondering about that

The pics are really good Fay-chan

Thanks I just wish more ppl will read my journal so I have more valid feed back -sighs- ah well

ps my other journals are possible garenteed to piss ppl off so id advise anyone who does read my journals to keep an open mind and at least finish it

questions comments are welcome u can also pm

Your welcome

Perfect is an illusion but people tend to try their best to be something like it.

Sorry
It means nothing! There is no point. They say some mistakes are acceptable but it's a totally different story when they happen. Apologies are nothing they cannot take back mistakes made things broken, or dead. Nothing can do those things! So why, why have to say 'sorry' when it isn't acknowledged or just taken as a staement? Why must one be forced to apologize when some mistakes are intentional? Not like anyone ever cares if the mistake is acknowledged or repented for by the person making the making them they want them to have never been done!! Sorry is a waste of time anyway no one will take it seriously...

Spoiler:

Neat point of veiw and nice pic Fay-chan

Oh, that was cool! And that picture was very pretty.

Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I read it before I left for dinner, but forgot to comment. xD

Hate Me!!!

Go ahead I don't care... or do I ... no I don't. I'd rather you hate me I don't want anyone to to be close to me anymore I want to seperate myself from foolish desires! I don't want to feel I don't want to talk I want to be alone and die in some dark abyss where my soul will stay trapped forever and no one will remember me! I want to die but I will not kill myself. I don't want those I care about to blame themselves for the taking of my own life. Damn there it goes again must erase all emotions... I don't care I will never escape this life of hell I know a worse end awaits me. If I am already Hell bound why should I endure this living Hell as well? Odd how it seems those that would do anything to live die and those that would do anything to die live. They tell us who wish death to enjoy life but how can we? Everything we work for everything we care about is taken from us! There is nothing left to live for so we seek pain of every kind to cope with the empty feelings that are burned into our souls the holes never close but the additional pain makes them seem smaller though it doesn't last. So I say to those who have made it thus far in reading this it is truly not as if I haven't tried but it's impossible, the things I've enjoyed or loved have all been taken away and I tortured with their loss. And I had thus shed my last tear many years ago and nolonger have any left due to the account they are only another weakness I had yet to discard. I'm never allowed to show any emotion but happyness so I can be nearly killed and still have to smile unfortunatly I haven't been able to meet death yet... Not because I'm afraid of it but I believe it fears me or loves to watch me suffer. I want nothing to do with this world any longer I want no one to care for me either. I love not want not I feel not! Family and friends are liabilities I want least of all and I hate the most while I can... but thruthfully I need you all so I can learn to soften this throbbing pain within and leave hatred behind or I can no longer hold back against the world and will forfeit all I've ever lost and wanted. For those of you who still hate me very well I cannot be sorry or blame you if you do and for those of you who have made it to the end of reading this ... Thank you for having an open mind or at least finishing before passing judgement.

Spoiler:

That was a very cool and interesting post.

That picture is pretty cool too. She looks like she would kill anyone that got too close to her. Lol!

^^ thanx
though Im sure some ppl may hate me for that post but i had to do it my next 1 is gonna be more fun but more intense so i think... ^^'

Ah, that is cool. ^.^

Neat one. but you dont have to be Hell bound, I would explain further but on the forum i am not allowed to share my beleifs.

........uh-huh....

Lol.